Teenage Manstink
Teenage Man Stink
My son turned 13 this year, and I can’t help but wonder if his olfactory glands stopped working at midnight the day before his birthday. At 13, a boy’s body begins to change – from broadening shoulders to – you guessed it – man stink. Do they smell themselves? And if they do, do they like the smell? I think mine actually does. As a matter of fact, I think he is quite proud of his man stink. Yes, he has a can of Axe that he actually does use. But No Can Of Axe could ever cover that “oh so teenage smell.”
I assume that when the first girl of interest takes interest BACK, that my son will begin to shower without a fight for his life. But until then, I will try to remain calm and perhaps breathe a little less as my son passes by. As a matter of fact, I’ve written a poem in his honor.
Ode to Teenage Man Stink
I turn the corner wondering why
My living room smells like something has died.
But to my surprise no bodies are there
Just my teenager sitting in his underwear.
The outfit is standard for a boy of 13.
Boxers and undershirt round out the scene.
The smell I have smelled in a circus tent.
I open the windows and open the vent.
He gives me a look of innocent grace
As the stench slowly turns me green in the face.
“Go take a shower while I get you a towel!”
He ignores me completely, except for the scowl.
I refuse to back down, though my legs feel quite limp.
I feel helpless knowing my teen reeks of chimp.
His can of axe sits in a pile of dust.
But this Man Stink must go that is a must!
What’s a mother to do when her son starts to grow?
He’s stinky and acts like he doesn’t even know!
I’ll wait until morning when The Teen Can’t be Woken,
And Febreeze that boy down Super Mom has Spoken!
